"What women want"

OCTOBER 20, 2009
WHAT WOMEN WANT PART 1 Current mood: rejuvenated Category: Romance and Relationships
Ok, so I am finally starting an on going blog because I feel that I am finally in a position to start giving back... For those who don't know me, I am a Mental Health Therapist with a Masters in Mental Health. I have worked as a therapist for many years and specialize in relationship and couples issues. I have ran support groups for men and women and have helped in healing many broken relationships. My calling is helping others and now we can do it together!
The more time that goes by, the more I realize that we are all here trying to reach that "satisfied" status. All of us have a different definition for "satisfaction" but the common denominator is the discovery of true love. That one relationship that fulfills our needs. That one person that allows us to feel needed and wanted. Before I begin, this is the philosophy that I always leave with my clients: Instead of searching for the "right person" BE that "right person" and you will attract that which you give to others! But in the meantime guys, I will give you my view as a woman... What do women want?
1).Women want someone who loves them "openly." Someone who regardless of who is around, will display interest in them dispite external circumstances. We don't want a guy that is "carinoso" (tender) privately and then when he gets around his friends decides to pull out the "other" personality. The tough guy that does not want to be perceived as being "pussy-whipped." WE HATE THAT! Be man enough to show the world that you are proud of being with your girl. Show pride that she has chosen you to be out with and make sure that you verbalize often how being around her makes you a better man.
2). Women also want to be heard... this is a pretty important point! When we are telling you about any given issue, we want you to stop thinking of solutions to what we are saying.... please do NOT solve our dispute with our friend, or do not tell us how we are over-reacting. Simply take the few minutes to make eye contact with us, acknowledge our feelings (whether is anger, frustration, etc.), and just say something like: "Wow baby, that must have been difficult for you!" THAT IS EMPATHETIC LISTENING! See, what a lot of men don't realize is that our ways of communication are very different than yours. Men communicate to solve issues and create a plan of action; women communicate to bond, to create a common ground. When we trust enough to disclose our intimate thoughts, we need to feel that we are not being judged or placated with unnecessary responses. As a man, once you have listened and acknowledged our perspective, you have proven that you are worth our trust. Once that trust is established, a more open and less anxiety-ritten way of communication will develop. AGAIN! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SOLVE THE ISSUE UNLESS ASKED TO DO SO ;)
3)Women want recognition. This is soooo crucial! Listen up!! When in a relationship (any type) look for the good in every action and make sure to point out what you observed that you liked. For example, if you usually get into her car and it's usually a bit "cluttered" (lol), and one day... WOW! the car is neater inside and she washed it>>> Please make sure to mention how great it looks! Also, if she takes the time to run an errand for you or she pays a bill with out being asked >>> Please make sure you let her know how much that helped you. Finally, if you live together and you both get up to go to work, make sure you take note of what she is wearing and comment on how the lipstick matches her shoes... ok, maybe I'm reaching, but you get my point. OBSERVE AND COMMENT!! You will not believe how FAR that will take you!!! Let me give you a little secret about girls: why do you think that so many times we rather hang out with each other???? Because we will make sure that we let our girlfriends know when a pair of jeans looks hot or when a hair style is flattering. GET THE MESSAGE??? I don't want to hear that "Well that is not me" because we as women do a lot of things that we rather not do, but we will do them if it is for the sake of LOVE>>> ISN'T THAT WHAT CONNECTS US ALL?? The pursuit of that match, that soulmate that will complement us so that "the search can end!"
There are many more things that women want. My next blog will cover what we want in bed and how you can continue to romance us.
I will take comments, questions and suggestions. This is an ongoing blog. Please subscribe to it so that you get informed when the next one is posted. THIS IS GOING TO BE A FUN RIDE! COME JOIN ME ;))

STELLA