"Become the person you are looking for."

Here we are starting a new week, hopefully with some new found awareness of ourselves and our surroundings. This relationship business is really not very cut and dry, on the contrary, it is as ever changing as my taste in lip gloss... a new flavor every week...lol

Well today I want to talk to you about becoming the person that you are looking for. Yeah, it takes a minute to sink in. Many of us go around looking for that perfect mate, one who treats us with respect, who satisfies us sexually, one who will do anything for us! Although this seems pretty clear, I see a lot of girls talking about men saying that men are jerks and men talk about women being so difficult and high maintenance. The Real Question is, what are YOU doing to become that person that you desire?

Who are you when no one is looking? What are your thoughts when the music is off? Are you building your temple from within, or are you simply looking outwardly at others and trying to find faults in them or looking for their approval? When you are alone, are you spending any time in understanding what makes you tick? How much time do you take "tunning up" your state of mind? I bet you tune up your car more often that you do yourself!

Are you taking any time to sit quietly in a meditative state to learn about your thoughts and emotions? Did you know that before you feel anything, there are thoughts present that create the emotion in question? I absolutely invite you to sit for 15 minutes a day, close your eyes and focus on slowing your thoughts down. Did you know that the average person has approximately 60,000 thoughts a day!!?? What are those thoughts creating within you? Are most of those thoughts focused outwardly at other people and situations? If they are, then you are probably walking around frustrated and a bit chaotic. You are probably neglecting yourself and allowing other people and situations to dictate how you feel.

Now let's go back to finding the person that you desire. Take a moment and imagine that person.. what they look like, how they sound, who they are in pleasant and unpleasant situations, who you would like them to be if faced with the temptations of the every day hustle.... ok, now that you have that picture in your mind, change the face and the body and place yourself in that vision.... got it?!! Good!!! If you BECOME that person, I guarantee you that it will be soooo much easier to attract a man or a woman who shares your vision and who can appreciate who you are. How can you honestly become frustrated if you can't find the right person if you yourself, are a run-down, dishonest, and unstable mess? Does asking for that which you can not yourself provide, seem like a fair request? Can you give the right person what they deserve if they showed up at your door?

Where most people get it wrong, is where they expect one thing from a partner, but their own house is in complete and utter disarray (literally and figuratively) !! I cant tell you how many times I met a guy who I thought may be the person the I had been looking for, and all I had to do was to go his house to find that he had NO CLUE how to take care of himself! Filthy bathrooms, I mean FILTHY, nasty kitchen, etc etc etc... I am sure that there have been many guys who have found the same thing with girls.

Now people, let's think about this for a minute. IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO CARE FOR YOURSELF, HOW CAN YOU EXTEND YOURSELF EVEN MORE TO CARE FOR SOMEONE ELSE?!! Let's start at home!

Start visualizing yourself being the person that you want to attract to you. Imagine yourself being upbeat, stable, caring, attractive, in shape, etc etc... and begin acting as if. Do not worry about others or do not obsess about finding that person. Don't focus on just the outward appearance alone, PLEASE!!! That is easier and somewhat temporary.

Start learning about your innermost thoughts. Know that you can change them if they are making you miserable, or that you can think more of the "good ones." One last tip: Once you have identified your thought patterns, and you find a negative "cluster"of thoughts that are consistently causing you pain... ELIMINATE them. However, do not just eliminate the bad fruits, replace them with positive and nurturing thoughts that can build you back up. Imagine that you are helping your best friend through a situation. Be as caring and take as much time as you would one them.

If you start rebuilding your own temple, you will find that loneliness is not your enemy. You will find yourself loving who you are and being more content. LOVE YOU and take time to spend with YOU! You will start attracting those who share your energy and that "someone" may just appear when you least expect it!

Let me know how it goes!!! Til next time!