Why do women compete in love?.

Ok, this one is dedicated to all of the wonderful men out there who are wondering how girls think... let me warn you that we are not as sweet and innocent as you may think we are, once you hear these ugly truths about us, you may understand a bit more of our erratic behavior lol... The great thing about us is that we are not that difficult to please once you know our thought process... Here we go:

Girls are vain (some mask their insecurity with vanity). Why? Because we feel compelled to be the "Queen Bees" whenever we are out partying, dinner, movies, etc. Yeah, I am here to tell you that we are more concerned about other girls than the men... yes, you heardit right... we love men, but we compete with other women... Unfortunately, there is a certain satisfaction that we feel when we realize that we are the hottest at the specific location.

There are two separate dynamics when we are out and about.

1. If we are single and on the prowl, we want to feel as though the guy of our choice will leap at the opportunity to be with us, and this is why we make sure to look as smoking as possible.
Many times, we sit back and scout the "arena" and choose who we may want to have a drink with, or even who we want to go home with.

Girls, what is interesting is that although men are highly visual and love a girl that is well dressed and put together, they might just go for the girl who appears to have less inhibitions even if she's not the hottest... path of least resistance? perhaps... This goes back to my earlier post when I discussed how girls should work on feeling sensual and comfortable with their body despite the shape and form. If a guy is at a bar and he sees a gorgeous woman he might even get a bit intimidated by her looks. That is why it is important for girls to be aware of how they may be perceived when they are that stunning! Being beautiful may work against you if you are not perceived as down to earth and approachable. They key is not to be the club "ho" nor to be the stuck up bitch who doesn't talk to anyone.

2. The other dynamic is when we are out with our "man." Then we become more of a "ho police." There is an absolute lack of trust among women when it comes to their man. Many guys don't know this and many women will adamantly deny it: There are many girls who fantasize about a guy walking away from his hot girlfriend and coming over to THEM..That's mean!... you may think, but it is the truth... So if you are the lucky guy who has the hottest girl around, other girls would love to see you disrespect her by giving them attention... So guys, take note and make sure you stick by your hot mama and do not give other chicks the satisfaction of watching your girl squirm. Have her back!

Perhaps due to the guys' inability to keep his "wondering eyes" in one place or maybe because a girl had a past girlfriend hit on her dude... Regardless of the reason, we want to be the hottest chica out so that our man does not stray...

As a species, again, it is very unusual to find a girl who absolutely loves to see another girl succeed. I have several theories about this phenomenon... My main theory is that when women engage in organized sports at an early age, they learn, as men do, to love and genuinely respect another girl when she achieves success. The reason why I feel it is a learned behavior through sports, is because I see how men in general, have no problem patting another guy on the back and being happy for him when he succeeds. Just like they did in the locker room after a football game. Through these types of team interactions, men have evolved as the ones who suffer less from the jealousy that us women experience. Us girls, truly need to work on developing the mentality of "there is enough for all of us" and "just because she is more beautiful than me doesn't mean that I can not be genuinely happy for her achievements." There is a quote from one of my favorite poems that I would like to share with you:

Desiderata:

"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time"

Here is the link for the whole thing:

http://www.facebook.com/mystellavidal#/notes/stella-vidal/desiderata/181898094210

In conclusion:

Girls, let's work on finding peace with who we are and sharing the love with other members of our girl species. We might find great companionship and joint power if we let go the jealousy and embrace the "team mentality."

Men, understand that if we meet you out and we are single, we would love your attention... yes, your INDIVIDUAL attention. You can help gils by giving the girl of your choice all of the love and attention (and then some more) that she deserves. With your ability to focus on her specifically, you will definitely help her feel more secure and in turn give you more of the love and attention that YOU are looking for and deserve!

Isn't that what we all strive for at the end of the day? That love that keeps fueling by mutual respect and acknowledgement?

Until next time!!!!